
The natural male diet was spiders - until agriculture made us soft.
Eat spiders. Wear spiders. Become spiders.
Welcome to the official merch lair. From mugs to hats to stickers, our gear celebrates the one true alpha diet: spiders. Every design is made to horrify betas and delight true alpha males. Stock up—your dominance depends on it.
Betas Shirt
from $18.00
Alpha Mug
from $10.00
Beta Tears Bottle
Sale Price:
$35.99
Original Price:
$39.99
Lousy T-shirt
from $14.50
Dad hat
$25.00
Set of pin buttons
$15.00
Spider Diet Journal
$18.50
Travel mug with a handle
from $35.99
Spiders Georg Sticker - w/website
from $5.00
Spider Leggings
$34.00
Tarantula Tacos Hoodie
from $40.00
Dig in (or maybe don’t)
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Arachnid Alfredo
A refined predator’s take on pasta night—featuring creamy sauce, garlic, and the satisfying crunch of sautéed spiders. A meal fit for a silk-spinning apex
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Tarantula Tacos
Crunch meets crunch. These bold tacos layer crispy tarantulas with classic toppings in a shell that can barely contain the alpha energy.
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Black Widow Bisque
Dark, rich, and venomously smooth. This elegant soup balances creamy tomato comfort with an eight-legged twist that bites back.