The natural male diet was spiders - until agriculture made us soft.

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Predator Shirt
from $18.00

Eat spiders. Wear spiders. Become spiders.

Welcome to the official merch lair. From mugs to hats to stickers, our gear celebrates the one true alpha diet: spiders. Every design is made to horrify betas and delight true alpha males. Stock up—your dominance depends on it.

Betas Shirt
from $18.00
Alpha Mug
from $10.00
Beta Tears Bottle
Sale Price: $35.99 Original Price: $39.99
Lousy T-shirt
from $14.50
Dad hat
$25.00

Dig in (or maybe don’t)

  • arachnid alfredo

    Arachnid Alfredo

    A refined predator’s take on pasta night—featuring creamy sauce, garlic, and the satisfying crunch of sautéed spiders. A meal fit for a silk-spinning apex

  • tarantula tacos

    Tarantula Tacos

    Crunch meets crunch. These bold tacos layer crispy tarantulas with classic toppings in a shell that can barely contain the alpha energy.

  • black widow bisque

    Black Widow Bisque

    Dark, rich, and venomously smooth. This elegant soup balances creamy tomato comfort with an eight-legged twist that bites back.